Save The Last Puff

I’m lying on my bed, two of my fluffiest pillows under my head. I’m down to the last stick of my beloved cigarettes. You heard me right, I smoke about two sticks before drifting off to sleep. This relieves me from the day’s tension and stress, and everything. It relaxes me in some way only smokers understand. It’s sort of like, a therapy, or a truly relaxing spa, whatever you wanna call it. And now, I’m puffing my fourth one. Still, this doesn’t seem to be working. I’m not relaxed yet. I’m still stressed, and I can still feel the tension in my nerves. I’m still irritated. I’m still annoyed. Real annoyed.

Tigilan mo na nga yang paninigarilyo! Wala ka namang napapala dyan! Ang bata-bata mo pa, puro bisyo na yang nalalaman mo! Hindi ka naman dating ganyan a! Yan bang natututunan mo sa barkada mo? O sa UP? Akala ko ba matalino ka? E para kang walang utak e! Alam mo nang masama iyan, sige ka pa rin!

Whatever.

I can still hear those really provocative words ringing in my ears. It was my grandma. I was in front of my computer (as usual) and chatting on IRC. It really ruined my wonderful night. I would have stayed connected to IRC longer (like, until dawn) had she not shown up in my room and shouted at the top of her rough voice as if she was a madman (or a madwoman). Well, you know how annoying and irritating and stupid our grand ones can get. It’s just like living in hell. Or maybe hell’s a better place, way better. It’s not just the words that really pissed me off, even the tone did. It was like, so degrading and so mortifying. I mean, what does my friends, or my IQ of 164, or even my school, have to do with smoking? And what does she care about? It’s a personal choice, and it’s none of anyone’s (not even my bitch’s) damned business. If she just said that because she cared for either my health or me, she could have said it in a nicer way. I think she just wanted to piss me off so she could use the phone.

She can do whatever she wants to do. I don’t care. I don’t give a damn. So, puhleeeze… Don’t give me this crap and leave me alone.

I’m not taking this bullshit from you. I’m sick and tired of it. Gimme a break.

I’ll just save the last puff of my Davidoff, and drift off peacefully to the calm --- to sleep.