It's A Joke

A new twist on creation

When GOD created the cow:

On the 1st day GOD created the cow.

He said, " You must go to the field with the farmer all day long
& suffer under the sun, have calves & give milk to support the farmer.
I will give you a life span of 60 years."

Cow says, "that's kind of a tough life. You want me to live for 60
years.

Let me have 20 & I'll give back the other 40."

GOD agreed.

On the 2nd day GOD created the dog.
GOD said, "Sit all day by the door of
your house & bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.

I will give you a life span of 20 years."

Dog says, " That is too long to be barking.
Give me 10 years & I'll give you back the other 10."

GOD agreed.

On the 3rd day GOD created the monkey.

He said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.

I'll give you a 20 year life span."

Monkey says, "How boring! I do not think so. Dog gave you back

10 years & so will I. ok?

GOD agreed.

On the 4th day GOD created man.

GOD said, " Eat, sleep, play, marry & enjoy your life.

I'll give you 20 years."

Man said, " What? Only 20 years!

Tell you what, I'll take my 20,
& the forty the cow gave back,
& the 10 the dog gave back
& the 10 the monkey gave back,
that makes eighty, ok?

GOD said, "OK, you have a deal."

So that is why the 1st 20 years we eat, sleep, play & enjoy
ourselves;

the next 40 we slave in the sun to support our family;

the next 10 we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren;

& for the last 10 years we sit on the front porch and bark at
everyone.

Life is now explained.

We All Are Monkeys

But I do have class. And I am intelligent.

Excuse my French (it's Monkey Language)...

ANONG PROBLEMA NYO? BAKET NYO KAILANGANG BUTASIN YUNG DALAWANG GULONG KO? ME GINAWA BA KONG MASAMA? KUNG MERON SABIHIN NYO NG DERECHO, HINDI YUNG NAMBUBUTAS PA KAYO NG GULONG NG ME GULONG. TANGINA TALAGA. MAMATAY NA BUMUTAS NG GULONG KO. MGA INGGITERONG HAMPAS LUPA. MAMAMATAY DIN KAYO. MALAPIT NA. MGA WALA KASENG PERA.

MAMAMATAY KAYONG MGA HAMPAS LUPA. LAHAT KAYO. DAHIL NAGTATAASAN NA ANG PRESYO NG LAHAT NG BAGAY, MAMAMATAY KAYO SA GUTOM. TANGINA.

Spiritual Improvement 101

So I'm reading this really neat book called Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh. Actually, this book-reading thing isn't actually my thing, especially spiritual/self-help books - anything which has God in it - just not my type. I just met my friend Tanya at the Mass Communication parking this morning while I was hanging around. Unfortunately sadly horribly dissappointingly irritatingly, our scheduled shoot for our final drama production was cancelled, and people only texted me it was so when I was already at the friggin' meeting place - at friggin' half past eight on a friggin' Saturday morning. So back to the parking lot, I asked Tanya if she had something interesting to read (I guessed reading would be a good way of killing time) in her jam-packed hatch. Then she gave me this book. And I loved it. I'll never give it back to her. Well, if I got my own copy of it, why not?

This really is an engaging little piece of work. I'm only on page 20 - I just dropped by to give this blog a little post - then I'll go on reading and taking in every insight presented in this book. You should get your own copy too. Hah, I should be saying that to myself.

#

You people have seen the animation picture Monsters, Inc., right? Do you happen to know the name of that one-eyed super cute character? I'm planning on getting a stuffed replica of it and place it on the dashboard. It looks real cute. Take a look at this.



Sorry for the lighting.

#

I've seen my nephew's pics! I'll post the best one next time. Sadly, I haven't seen him IRL. Maybe I will. In a few days. Weeks. Or months. Who knows?

UP Bowling Team Grabs Silver

The UP Bowling Team placed second in the 2nd Philippine Schools Championship at Pearl Bowling Center yesterday, September 11th.

Among the other teams that represented their schools are Ateneo de Manila University (5 teams), De La Salle University (2), College of St. Benilde, Xavier (2), La Salle Greenhills, and CKSC.

We got a medal for each for us and Starbucks gift certificates worth 300 bucks. Not bad, huh?

I still can't believe those kids from Xavier beat us.

Fear for Saul

My nephew was born on Tuesday, September 7, a week after his grandfather died of some cancer (lung cancer, I think). Congratulations to the parents, people might always say, as a child has always been a blessing and makes the family a whole one. We are blessed with and by the child, but what does the child get in return? Do we bless him as much as he did us?

Yes, maybe. His parents will try to give him everything he needs. Food (milk, oh, all these baby milk stuff make babies super kulet and in some cases mutated in a funny or irritating sort of way), clothing, shelter, touch (the power of haptics, hmm, it reminds me of CommRes 101) and all that parenting stuff - well, for the first 2 years. As he progresses in life, his needs will increase, and get complicated. At age 4, he starts going to school and asks his mom for a pretty cutesy pencil (Goliaths are obsolete) and a cartoon-character-inspired lunchbox. At age 6, he wants more and more toys - the more complicated ones, like battery operated robots and remote-controlled cars. At age 12, he learns how to dress himself, and becomes a little more brand-conscious. He starts asking for GUESS and Donna Karan and MF+G (or is it M+FG?). Thus, the need for his parents to make more money. At age 16, he goes dating girls. More clothes, more money to take girls out, more electronic-gadget-stuff fad, and more work for the parents. At age 17, however, he goes to UP, and realizes the state of the country's economy.

That is dreadful. 17 years back, we had our time, and we were in a fiscal crisis. Well, that was when we had some Harvard bitch for our president. It might be better now. It might be even worse.

The thing I fear most for my nephew is how he's going to accept that he's born in a country run by a group of filthy rich bastards and one toothy slut. It wasn't his choice. It wasn't anyone else's either. This is what people call chance. Huh, tough luck. It would be good if there was a try again button to press so that when we don't want the environment we were born in, we would be born in another random place. Then we would keep pressing this button until we get our ideal society. Nice idea, too bad it could never happen. As does Saul, we people have no choice in the beginning. But through life, we start making our own choices.

And to break to you guys, I'm not nationalistic at all. I'm leaving after I graduate in 2007. Well, actually, I'm really supposed to leave for Europe after graduation. It's me dad's gift, for giving him the pride of a job well done.

Uncle

Congratulations to me! My sister-in-law has already given birth. So I'm a big fat uncle now. A completely irresponsible one. I haven't even visited them at the hospital! Hmm, I wonder what he looks like. I'll be posting pics soon!

Sem-ender

The semester is about to end and I'm excited for the next to come. I'll be having more advance TV and radio classes and who knows how much more fun it'll be?

I'm doing recap on what's left to do in all my classes for this term.

BC 121 (TV Production and Directing) - short dramatic film, the story of which will be made up from the 17 given lines. These line will also serve as the dialogue of the characters, since we are limited to 2 more lines of additional dialogue within the entire production. It's about to be confirmed that the male talent we'll be using will be Dennis Trillo (the Mulawin guy). You know me - connections.

BC 102 (Radio Speech and Performance) - duo newscast production with live reporting (ad-libbing) due for Wednesday, DJ program conceptualization and practical application, which will be held at our own AM station, DZUP. I'm not exactly excited, since I've already been handling the station since I think a month back. And I'll be recycling my program concept from my BC 103 class - I've even recorded a program ID for it.

BC 103 (Radio Scriptwriting) - nothing at all. I'll be recycling the radio drama script I prepared last term for my BC 101 (Radio Production and Directing) class. He deserves that - I don't think I remember a single thing he taught the class the whole term.

Comm 120 (Mass Media Law) - final exam on the last Saturday of September. I'm thinking about studying for it, since I passed the midterm without even touching my reading list. 28 out of 50! That's a nice 2.75!

CommRes 101 (Who knows?) - post-midterm and final. The former on Thursday and the latter, I'm not even interested to know when. Haven't read a single article from the super massive reading list. We'll see how I fare in the exam. I'll keep you posted. I know I'll be ranting here if I don't pass it.

Pedring, O Pedring!

So you enjoyed the previous one, huh? Now here's an even longer one.

#

Scene 1 – Dreams and Reality

Scene is introduced by the dialogue of Mina bedded with a dreamy sound effect. As the dialogue progresses, a love song will be played. Mina and Pedring (main character) are making a pact, a promise of their never-ending love.
Suddenly, Cheka, the gay owner of the boarding house in which Pedring and Rico (his best friend/sidekick) stay, enters and wakes Pedring up from his dreamy state. He tells Pedring off for having to have someone else wake him up every single morning, and for not paying his dues on time.

NARRATOR INTRODUCES DRAMA PROGRAM “PEDRING, O PEDRING”

Scene 2 – Rico the Sidekick

Pedring goes down the stairs and enters the dining hall of the boarding house. He is greeted immediately by Rico, his best friend and school mate. They talk about usual student stuff. The two speed off to school in Rico’s car next. As they reach school, Rico transforms into an almost-always-English-speaking person, to level with his girlfriend Daphne. Rico goes to the canteen to meet up with Daphne, leaving Pedring alone walking to his classroom.

Scene 3 – Waving Mina, Raging Bongga

Scene starts with Pedring noticing a familiar face, Mina’s, waving at him. He thinks it was really him who Mina waves at and waves back at the girl. A group of girls comes in and greets Mina, who the latter was really waving at.
Pedring gets humiliated and starts talking to himself.
As he just was, Bongga, another gay character who calls himself Janno Gibbs’s fashion consultant, answers Pedring’s last question. They start off with quite a rough introduction and warm up to each other a bit more as the dialogue progresses. Bongga volunteers (as he says, no consultation fee) to give Pedring a fashion and attitude makeover to make himself more noticeable by Mina. Pedring is doubtful at first but gets convinced in the end all the same.

Scene 4 – The Makeover

Buses and busy streets sound effects come first in this scene. Next, Pedring and Bongga head to a mall and shop for clothes and accessories after having a bargain that Bongga picks Pedring’s clothes and gives him sound fashion advice for free, and Pedring pays for everything he shops for. An upbeat music sneaks in after the dialogue.

Scene 5 – Daphne Enraged

Rico starts the scene with his dialogue in conyo accent. Daphne starts complaining about how long they’ve been waiting for Pedring to show up. Pedring arrives at the place, the other two tells him off for being late. Pedring introduces Bongga to them, and they all head home afterwards.

Scene 6 – The New Pedring
Pedring shows Rico how Bongga helped him earlier and Rico gets impressed by how skilled Bongga was at doing makeovers. Rico jokes about turning gay over Pedring’s new look. Pedring asks him if Mina would start noticing him with his new fashion and Rico agrees. Pedring wonders how easy this is, and how it turns out like a dream-come-true.

Scene 7 – Dreams and Reality 2

Scene is introduced by Mina and Pedring’s dialogue. Mina starts talking to Pedring. The latter gets excited. As the dialogue continues, he finds out that Mina doesn’t like him at all and calls him a loser for trying hard to make her notice him. Pedring gets depressed – and mad at Bongga for fooling him into doing the whole makeover.
Pedring is woken up again by Cheka, and it turns out it was just a horrible dream. Rico catches up with him and says he had a bad dream last night. But Pedring, in his already bad mood, shuts him up – so Rico never gets to tell him what his bad dream was about.

Scene 8 – It’s Mina, for real

The two guys arrive at school and split up. Pedring spots Mina and decides to walk up to her, just to test if Bongga’s help really worked. He finds out Bongga did him a great favor. He asks Mina out to dinner and she agrees. The whole dialogue is bedded with a love theme.

Scene 9 – The Real Mina

Pedring is at the decided place of meeting exactly on time. He waits for ten minutes, thinking maybe the whole thing was a joke Mina and her friends played on him. Then Mina arrives and his suspicions relieved. Mina apologizes for being late.
The love theme (same as played during the entire production) sneaks in.
Mina says that she’s got something to tell him, and Pedring gets excited. They become officially on minutes later, after confessing love for each other. But Mina still has something else to tell Pedring. And Mina reveals to him she’s not real girl. She is gay.

Scene 10 – Pedring, O Pedring

Fast-forward to sometime in the very immediate future, back in the boarding house. Pedring tells Rico the whole story, and Rico consoles him. Rico reveals that what he had dreamed of days ago was exactly what things turned out to be. He had dreamed of Mina as being a gay cross-dresser. Pedring continues to whine.

NARRATOR ENDS DRAMA PROGRAM “PEDRING, O PEDRING”

#

That was a drama scenario treatment paper.

#

I didn't have time to correct the grammatical errors before I posted this. Sorry about that.